So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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