She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Less talking, more tequila
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
