that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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