If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
