I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
