on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you traded sex for a burrito?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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