Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
