: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
