wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
