Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My ATM looks so different sober.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
