But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
someone owes me an orgasm
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Alive.
So much puke
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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