Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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