i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
