You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
