Me. At least after what I've been through.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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