VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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