your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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