What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
