And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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