I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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