what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
