I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
