when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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