I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
