guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
