let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
