Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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