What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
