hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
