The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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