dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
