There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
