Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
