i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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