there was a trapeze. enough said
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So apparently I’m into choking now
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