his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
