To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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