after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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