That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
