Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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