they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
