I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
