I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
