ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
