I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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