SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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