What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
