Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my shit smells like andre
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
