direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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