I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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