Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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