i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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