your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
