I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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