It was confusing and full of hummus
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
