Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
