I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
