yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
