You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
