Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
