Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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